If It Kills Me
by RageLikeRipred
Summary: Right now, things are not as they should be. songfic to Jason Mraz's "If It Kills Me" from the Casa Nova Sessions. DG HHr RWLL.


A/N: Read and review please! This is a songfic with the song "If It Kills Me (From the Casa Nova Sessions)" by Jason Mraz. Note that you should listen to the song while reading, it sets a nice mood, but it must be the version that says: (**from the Casa Nova Sessions**). Anyways, the one-shot is a bit angsty at the beginning, a bit fluffity at the end. It's the best of both worlds! I'm quite proud of it, so please read.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or If It Kills Me (from the Casa Nova Sessions) by Jason Mraz. I decidednot to make a joke out of this disclaimer, which in itself is a joke, kind of. Not. Or maybe. It depends how insane you are.

* * *

Draco approached the stage, with Harry and Ron by his sides. His acoustic guitar was hanging from its strap by his side, and so was Harry's bass guitar. Ron was holding his weird African drums, that were needed for the song, sideways in one arm. When they were given the sign, they climbed the stairs onto the stage. Draco began…

Wait.

How did they get here, you ask?

Oh. You don't know. Well, you're about to. Let's go back about two months in the past…

_Draco_

It was a nice sunny day of my seventh year and I was sitting under a tree with my wife. We sat side by side and talked like we always did, making conversation about anything and everything there was to talk about. This girl, she had changed me in so many ways, brought me out of my malevolent, cruel, apathetic state of mind, and turned me into someone decent.

But I was not in love with her.

She was my best friend.

Just before my sixth year, when my father was sent to Azkaban, my mother and I went into hiding, in order to escape conviction for being Death Eaters, and to escape being Death Eaters all together. We didn't want to serve the Dark Lord without my father there. It was his wish, not ours.

In our constant motion, we stumbled upon the home of Xenophilius Lovegood. He was outside and spotted us walking by. We had been trying to pretend we were just going for a walk, but is was kind of hard with our dirty clothes and mussed up appearances.

He must have guessed something was up with my mother and I, so he brought us inside. We had no choice as we were not looking to upset him. One word as to where he had seen us, and the information could go traveling back to the Dark Lord.

You see, this is how the marriage started. Xenophilius and his daughter, Luna, were having some financial trouble. So in order to get them out of their current state, my mother Narcissa made a deal with him. I would marry Luna so everything in the Malfoy Gringotts vault could rightfully be called hers, if Xenophilius would hide us.

So I married Luna, and she collected money from Gringotts. But something I wasn't expecting happened. We became friends.

She tried to talk to me, but at first I ignored her. I wasn't interested in what she had to say. But she was persistent, and eventually I gave in to curiosity and listened.

And after listening for awhile, I talked.

And so, over the course of a year, we had become best friends.

But sitting under this tree with her, I was not in love with her.

I was, in fact, a world away from the one, _the one_ I was in love with.

She was sitting across the lake, under a tree with her friends, the people I had grown to not hate, possibly even like, thanks to Luna. Luna and I, who felt nothing but friendly affection for each other.

I watched her as she laughed, and brushed her vibrant hair over her shoulder, feeling obsessive. Her flaming hair was what had originally drawn me to her, turning from its old carrot orange to a brilliant scarlet. But then, when I was near the girl and her three best friends with Luna, I would hear her conversations. And she was interesting.

Ginny.

But she was going out with Potter.

And there would be those rare moments, when she happened to look into my eyes, and my eyes would hold her there. And it would stay like that, for just a couple seconds of bliss. Then it would be over.

I don't know what she saw in my eyes at these times, but it didn't matter.

I was a married man.

There was no way out.

_Harry_

She was so close. I could feel my left arm brushing against her right. This had happened many, many times over the past six or seven years, but it never failed to make my heart beat a tad faster.

And I never failed to conceal it.

That was because her boyfriend, my best mate, was on her other side. And furthermore, _my_ girlfriend was on _my_ other side.

But I kept my eyes trained on her as she smiled her 'Hermione smile'. That's what I call it, because it's strictly her smile. Nobody else's.

Yes, it's hard standing by like this, and not taking action. Yes, it's hard to lie to my best mate. Yes, it's excruciatingly difficult to watch from the sidelines wondering what would've happened if I asked her first.

But that's the way it is.

And that's the way it will be.

_Ron_

I saw her there, from across the lake, talking to her husband, when nobody else did.

But it was no big deal. I had always seen her.

And what a relief it would be, to march straight to her and tell her how I feel. Admit to Hermione that I didn't feel anything that special for her anymore. But that's the easy way out, and Weasleys never get to take the easy way out.

I wasn't listening to Hermione, even though she was talking to me. She was talking to me, but Harry was listening. He would be a good enough audience for her. I kept on looking as Luna conversed with the guy who's name I no longer laced with vehemence.

I liked Draco well enough now, but he would never be good enough for her.

_I _was good enough for her.

Or maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

_Neutral_

Harry and Ron looked at the bulletin board in the Gryffindor common room. It read that there was to be a talent show on the second to last day at Hogwarts.

"I wonder what kind of acts there'll be," Ron said.

In response, Harry replied, "A lot of stupid ones, that's for sure. You don't have to audition or anything, apparently, you just sign up."

The two friends laughed, thinking about what hilarious, embarrassing stuff they'd see.

In the Slytherin common room, Draco was thinking along the same lines. Reading over the announcement, he laughed to himself, thinking that Pansy would try to sign up with a strip dance. That girl had a knack for wanting to take her clothes off.

Then it was about time for dinner, so Draco climbed the stairs upwards from the dungeons while Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny descended from Gryffindor tower, meeting Luna and Draco in front of the Great Hall. They walked in, and separated in order to get to their House tables.

Making a sharp turn to his left to walk towards the Slytherin table, Draco bumped right into Ginny. And then came one of those moments. He explored her chocolate eyes for some time before quickly saying, "Sorry," and rushing off to his House's table.

After awhile, Luna came from the Ravenclaw table and took a seat next to Draco. The other Slytherins were quite used to this, as it happened all the time. She _was_ his wife, after all.

She was blunt. "You love her," Luna accused. She was not hurt.

"So?" Draco responded.

"So, I'll divorce you."

"You can't do that," Draco sighed, wishing she could. "You and your father will start having money problems again. I can't let that happen."

"No. You can just give us money."

"Well, I guess, but still…" Draco was unsure.

"This is what I choose," Luna said firmly.

The Slytherin shook his head and said, "If that's what you want."

1 week later.

The divorce had been a quick process, and Draco Malfoy was now single. Right then, Draco was talking to Harry and Ron outside.

"Okay," Ron said suddenly. "I can't cover this up any longer. Dude, I'm in love with your wife," he spoke to Draco.

Draco felt the urge to laugh and everything was lighter. "Well that's good, 'cause she's not my wife anymore," he said to Ron, "and I'm in love with _your_ girlfriend," he declared to Harry.

Harry let out a breath and continued, "Well, _that's_ good, 'cause _I'm_ in love with _your_ girlfriend," he announced, turning to Ron.

"Alright, alright," Ron started, "let's get this straight. Draco's in love with Harry's girlfriend, Harry's in love with my girlfriend, and I'm in love with Draco's ex-wife."

"That looks to be about it," Harry finished.

Ron straightened up professionally. "Something needs to be done," he said.

"Hey…" Draco had an idea. "What about that talent show?"

"What about it?" asked Harry.

Draco bounced around the question. "Harry, have you ever played bass guitar before?"

"Er. No."

"Oh well, it's not that hard to learn just one song."

"What are you thinking?"

"And Ron," Draco continued, disregarding everything else said, "It's not difficult to learn just one song on those African drums."

"So? What's the big deal about all this? You wanna enter us in a talent show? But we have no musical talent whatsoever!" Ron fired out all his questions.

"I know this…Muggle song," Draco explained. "It's called If It Kills Me by whats-his-name, Jo-, no, J-, Jason Mraz! It perfectly describes our situation. We should play it at the talent show, and make it a dedication."

It was an idea.

Almost 2 months later

Draco began, "This song goes out to three…very special ladies."

With his guitar, he started the introduction of the song, when came the time for the lyrics, he sang. He wasn't the best singer in the world, but that wasn't the point.

"_Hello_

_Tell me you know, yeah you figured me out_

_Something_

_Gave it away_

_And it would be such a beautiful moment_

_To see the look on your face._

_To know that_

_I know that you know now._

_But baby that's a case of my wishful thinking_

_You know nothing._

_Well, you and I, we go carrying on_

_For hours on and_

_We get along, much better_

_Than you and your boyfriend."_

Harry and Ron were playing their instruments, which they had conjured of course, and they sang back-up for Draco during the chorus.

"_Well all I really wanna do is love you_

_A kind much closer than friends use_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through._

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_As the feeling inside keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me."_

Draco wasn't looking at the crowd. He was just staring straight forward. But Harry did, indeed, have his eyes on the crowd.

He was looking at Hermione. And there she was, with a huge smile on her face, happy eyes cast on…Ron. Of course she thought Ron was dedicating this to her.

"_How long can I go on like this_

_Wishing to kiss you_

_Before I rightly explode_

_And this double life I lead_

_is unhealthy for me,_

_In fact it makes me nervous._

_If I get caught, _

_I could be risking it all_

_Well baby there's a lot that I miss,_

_In case I'm wrong._

_All I really wanna do is love you,_

_A kind much closer than friends do,_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through._

_And all I really want from you is to feel me._

_As the feeling inside keeps building,_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me_

_If it kills me."_

Draco knew the three girls must be wondering what was happening. Actually, they probably weren't wondering at all. Hermione probably thought Ron dedicated it to her, Ginny thought Harry dedicated it to her… but Luna must know that Draco didn't love her. She had practically figured the whole thing out two months ago.

"_If I should be so bold,_

_I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand,_

_Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man._

_But I never said a word_

_I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again._

_Well all I really wanna do is love you,_

_A kind much closer than friends use,_

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through._

_And all I really want from you is to feel me,_

_As the feeling inside keeps building_

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me_

_If it kills me, if it kills me_

_I think it might kill me_

_And all I really want from you is to feel me_

_It's a feeling inside it keeps building._

_And I will find a way to you if it kills me_

_If it kills me_

_It might kill me._"

Harry, Ron, and Draco stood up through the large applause. They hopped forward off the stage, into the audience, simultaneously.

Ginny, Hermione, and Luna walked to greet them.

The six stood like this: Ron stood opposite Hermione, Harry opposite Ginny, Draco opposite Luna. Each pair were approximately three steps apart.

Draco was motioning to Luna is if to say, _"you, not me"_. Hermione was looking curiously at Ron, and Ginny was just staring blankly at Harry.

Draco, Harry, and Ron did a sliding motion in different directions so that Harry then stood before Hermione, Ron was opposite Luna, and Draco was looking at Ginny.

Luna was first to react. She smiled softly at Ron, and walked to him. The Lovegood girl placed a hand carefully on his arm and said, "You did say you loved me once."

"I did?"

"Mmhmm. It was only casual, though. You meant it in a friendly way."

Ron accompanied Luna outside for a walk, knowing that he had probably meant so much more than friendly when he had said that. And he could finally tell her so.

Ginny looked at Draco. She glanced at Harry, and received confirmation. He was staring at Hermione in such a way, that anyone would know he was in love with her. So, she let flow the feelings she had been bottling up, hiding, denying, through the gates of her actions.

Ginny ran at Draco and kissed him.

Harry and Hermione were having less luck.

They had both stayed stationary, just looking at each other. Hermione was trying to comprehend. No book had prepared her for this. There had been no pre-test. She looked into Harry's emerald eyes, and she knew what she saw. Love. But what was reflected in her eyes?

She thought about it. Did she love Harry? It had never even crossed her mind. She had never even considered it. Hermione had always assumed she was in love with Ron, never dwelling on her own concrete feelings.

Harry had always listened to her. Harry had always been there for her. Harry had always cared about her. Harry had always known her. Harry had always cherished her. And now, she knew, Harry had always _loved_ her.

And she could figure this out. She could love Harry, too. And the more she let herself go, let herself free, the more she _did_ love Harry.

Finally, Hermione smiled at Harry. And he knew she loved him as well.

For Harry and Hermione;

For Ron and Luna;

For Draco and Ginny;

This life was a happy one after all.

* * *

Sorry for any mistakes in the lyrics or story. Please **REVIEW**! It always means a lot to me. And it's usually very helpful.


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